GOLFING intercourse monster Tiger Woods has taken advantage of the wet weather in Wales by sleeping with a string of underwater prostitutes.
CHELSEA stewards have joined Everton on a loan deal so that suffering
fans can be tossed quickly out of the ground when it all gets too awful.
LIVERPOOL'S poor start to the season has been traced to an ancient Arapaho curse under the Kop End at Anfield.
SIR Alex Ferguson has been accused of disrespecting the Carling Cup after
installing a framed photo of his buttocks on the Manchester United
MILLIONS of people who had no intention of watching the Commonwealth Games are now eager to tune in just to see if the stadium collapses.
DIMITAR Berbatov will spend the next eight months sipping absinthe from a jade goblet after completing his 90 minutes of effort for the season.