THE potentially fatal consequences of texting while competing in track and field events will be highlighted in a series of shocking adverts.
ENGLISH football fans were scouring South African guide books last night as the search began for the best places to fight and piss.
SLOVENIA'S Bostjan Cesar has been banned for life from football after allowing himself to be stabbed by Wayne Rooney.
CHELSEA owner Roman Abramovich may be forced to buy other types of human being following the club's 18 month transfer ban.
ENGLAND'S football managers spent yesterday rifling through each other's bin bags in the hope of finding something that was not covered in rancid milk and tea leaves.
AN inquiry has been launched after the world record breaking sprinter Usain Bolt was spotted in a 135 year-old photograph.