Wales expands seething resentment empire

IRELAND and France can look forward to a thousand years of being despised by vengeful dwarves.

Tevez refuses to enter disciplinary hearing

CARLOS Tevez has foiled Manchester City's plans to discipline him by refusing to enter the room.

West Ham not very good at buildings either

SOMETIME football club West Ham has added 'winning stadium bids' to its list of inabilities.

Hopes rise that Formula 1 can now be stopped

SEBASTIAN Vettel's 2011 F1 title means we can cancel the rest of the races, forever, it has been claimed.


Hang on, this looks dangerous, says boxing federation

THE International Boxing Federation has suspended all future bouts after realising it is just two people knocking shit out of each other.

Stuart Pearce spends evening ruling himself out of things

STUART Pearce spent most of last night turning down the chance to do stuff nobody asked him to.

Tevez blows hole in Man City's theory of cash

CARLOS Tevez has undermined Manchester City's long term plan to spend whatever it takes to win something.

Ferguson thinks money should be about football

SIR Alex Ferguson has called for the exchange of very large sums of money to involve at least some football.