Rugby 'victory' was planned to make Wales feel good about itself

ENGLAND deliberately lost to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.

Next Reading boss to be abstract concept

THE shortlist for the new Reading manager includes ennui, empathy and a sense of unfulfillable longing.

Cheltenham Festival crowds have absolutely no idea what is going on

THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.

Ferguson able to receive visitors

A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.

Bradford celebrates better season than Arsenal

BRADFORD City celebrated its 5-0 thrashing yesterday by comparing its season to Arsenal’s.

Liverpool's season written by Ken Loach

LIVERPOOL’S fairytale adventure in Europe was scripted by Ken Loach, the club has revealed.