ENGLAND'S bid for the 2026 World Cup will focus less on youth development and stadia and more on backhanders and polonium sandwiches, it has been confirmed.
THE man who comes once a week to trim my hedge is most animated by the prospect of which nation will host the football World Cup that coincides with the 500th anniversary of Raphael's overpowering vision of St Michael vanquishing Satan.
THE Premier League has seen its biggest weekend of epic, 110 percent giving since it was scraped off a wart on Rupert Murdoch's back.
THE Football Association is to investgate claims that Arsenal have staged a deliberate Manuel Almunia.
CLAIMS that a man who does sport is in some way deficient have been rubbished by another man.
FABIO Capello said England now has the strength in depth to carry its grinding
mediocrity forward to the next generation.
SEBASTIAN Vettel marked becoming the youngest F1 champion ever by embarking on a marathon knucklefish session behind KFC.
NEWCASTLE'S Joey Barton has issued a public apology after failing to assault Sam Allardyce on Sunday.