NEIL Warnock has blamed critics for his dismissal, claiming they posed as opposition footballers that kept beating his team.
THE Tottenham Hotspur fan whose dream we are all part of will wake soon,
blinking this universe out of existence, experts have claimed.
FOOTBALL supporters are to switch their allegiance to a team whose scumbags they have never heard of.
TRAFFIC flow on roundabouts will be switched to anti-clockwise for the
duration of the Olympics, the Government has announced.
GARY Neville has spent the last 24 hours obsessively calling his voicemail and making sure his phone has full bars.
JOEY Barton has refused to serve his three-match ban after disproving
the existence of the Football Association using Nietzschean
LIVERPOOL'S defence of banned striker Luis Suarez will continue to be based on a strict interpretation of Uruguayan semantics.
ARSENE Wenger has conceded that his team is now unlikely to win the FA Cup final that took place almost 32 years ago.