Sport

Man leaves wife and children for Jamie Vardy's goal

A 31-YEAR-OLD has left his wife and two children to spend his life with Jamie Vardy's goal against Liverpool.

Pep Guardiola assigns positions to everyone in Manchester

NEW Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has announced the positions that all 514,000 of the city's residents must stay in throughout his reign.

Van Gaal managing United as community service

LOUIS Van Gaal cannot leave United until he has completed his 380 hours of community service, it has emerged.

Arsehole brings his own bowling ball

AN INSUFFERABLE tit brought his own bowling ball along to the office night-out, it has emerged.

Everyone injured at middle-aged football game

A GAME of football between 40-year-old friends has left everyone involved injured.

John Terry admits his legs have disappeared

CHELSEA captain John Terry has revealed that his legs have worn away to tiny stubs.

Oscar and Diego Costa still trying to land a punch on each other

DIEGO Costa and Oscar have been involved in a training ground fight lasting over two days.

Screaming women disrupt darts championship

HYSTERICAL female darts fans have caused play at the BDO World Championship to be suspended.