WIMBLEDON fortnight has begun amid sunshine and the imminent collapse of everything.
ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.
ROBERTO Firmino is the man to fire Liverpool to the Premier League title, according to supporters who only learned his name yesterday.
MANCHESTER United is to purchase a luxury hotel themed around former right-back Gary Neville.
THE original script for the new Fifa movie was accidentally destroyed just before FBI investigators arrived at the organisation’s headquarters.
WOMEN cannot play football, a plump and uncoordinated man has claimed.
FOUR in every five banknotes has been used for an illegal payment by FIFA, investigators have confirmed.
FIFA has unveiled a ground-breaking new set of design standards for football pitch corner flags.