ENGLAND fans are celebrating a new hero who they can place all their hopes in before being painfully disappointed.
MANCHESTER City goalkeeper Joe Hart is reconsidering his pre-game routine of greasing himself all over.
FANS of Manchester United are delighted to be launching their first campaign to sack a manager in almost a quarter of a century.
A MASSIVE boat has beaten a bunch of other boats to win the America's Cup.
PAOLO Di Canio has declared himself Sunderland manager-for-life following a brutal coup.
WAYNE Rooney has questioned the nature of existence following a Champions League game.
FOOTBALL pundit Jamie Carragher has insisted The Godfather Part III is the best film in the epic 'trilogy'.
GARETH Bale has repaid his new owners Real Madrid by scoring an incredible 85,000,001 goals in his first game for the club.