CHRIS Froome has snatched the lead in the Tour de France after successfully elbowing his way to the front of the Eurostar queue.
BRITAIN has enjoyed its most polite day of sport since records began.
THE 2014 World Cup mascot is being held for ransom by former mascots Pique the jalapeno and Gauchito.
INJURED Tour de France sprinter Mark Cavendish has announced that he will continue the race in his 2006 Renault Clio.
GARY Lineker’s form-hugging shirts have been hailed as the tightest ever worn by a football presenter.
FOOTBALL hipsters have dismissed suggestions that the current World Cup is the greatest of all time, insisting that it is vastly inferior to Switzerland ’54.
THE international community is working to stop America getting into football and beating everyone.
LATTER stages of the World Cup have forced bigots to become more inventive in their national prejudices.