Sport

Sedentary alcoholism is patriotic, say supermarkets

ANY English person not drinking heavily in front of a television is a traitor, the nation's supermarkets have announced.

Undiscovered Amazon tribe predicts England will be eliminated at group stage

AN Amazonian tribe who have no contact with civilization have predicted England will not make it past the first round of the World Cup.

You’re all really bad at this, says Nadal

RAFAEL Nadal has accused his fellow tennis players of being pathetically bad at playing on clay.

World Cup stadiums still full of street gangs

MANY of Brazil’s World Cup stadiums are still rife with poverty, stray dogs and ruthless street gangs, it has emerged.

Wiggins ‘could win Tour de France if he just goes faster than everyone else’

SIR Bradley Wiggins has been told he can win the Tour de France again as long he manages to ride his bike faster than all the other cyclists.

Zoos unveil World Cup-predicting animals

ZOOKEEPERS have revealed the 400 animals which will predict the results of this year’s World Cup.

Groves really looking forward to fighting Froch

DESPITE a headache and some odd facial bruises, George Groves is excited about his super-middleweight title fight against Carl Froch.

England team will sing national anthem if it's Labrinth

THE England football squad have agreed to sing the national anthem before World Cup matches if it's changed to Earthquake by Labrinth.