Sport

Football matches ruining magic of transfer market

FOOTBALL fans are furious that matches are diverting attention away from the transfer market.

Big Indifferent Land 3, Small Inexplicably Angry Land 2

BIG Indifferent Land snatched victory over Small Inexplicably Angry Land at Wembley last night leading to indifference and anger.

Qatar to create new ice age for 2022 World Cup

QATAR plans to trigger an ice age to cool the Earth sufficiently for it to host the World Cup.

Luis Suarez quotes Martin Luther King

FOOTBALLER Luis Suarez has delivered an impassioned speech inspired by history's greatest orators.

London has more stuff that I can buy, says Rooney

WAYNE Rooney wants to move to Chelsea so that he can have ready access to a wider range of goods and services.