Sport

Van Gaal calls for an end to numbers in football

LOUIS van Gaal has claimed that football must be freed from the shackles of maths.

Premier League managers call for autumn break

MANAGERS have demanded a six-week break for exhausted players who have been at it since as far back as August.

Royal and Ancient Golf Club lifts 260 year ban on Yardies

GOLF’S governing body has voted to open its doors to heavily armed Jamaican gangsters.

Chelsea to sign 'next Messi' the moment he's born

CHELSEA is to pounce for a Romanian labelled ‘the next Lionel Messi’ as soon as his umbilical cord is cut.

Di Maria looking forward to watching Champions League on TV

MANCHESTER United's Angel Di Maria is excited about watching the Champions League from his own sofa.

Entire Premier League can’t be bothered

EVERY team in the Premier League has given up trying to win the title after only four games.

Spurs to play next season online

TOTTENHAM Hotspur is to play all home games next season on the internet while work on a new stadium is completed.

Mums want to know why you can't be more like Tom Cleverley

THAT Tom Cleverley is such a nice young man, according to your mum.