Audience at darts tournament have no idea there’s a darts tournament going on

THE MAJORITY of the crowd at the Perth Masters darts tournament have no idea that there is a darts tournament being played, they have confirmed.

Less than ten per cent of the thousand-strong crowd knew that a competitive darting event was taking place in the venue that they were drinking in even among those who had placed bets on it.

Attendee Stephen Malley said: “I fucking love the darts.

“The booze, the chips, the rough birds, the dressing up as pantomime horses and dancing along to the chorus of Chelsea Dagger every five minutes. It’s a brilliant laugh.

“I did stagger out in front of a fat bloke throwing arrows before, having lost my way coming back from the bar, but I don’t think they were professionals. Not using language like that.

“Who was the winner on the night? Probably the bloke dressed as Big Bird who was getting off with the girl dressed as a garden gnome. He looked well in.

“The tournament winner? I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean.”