Beards interfering with play at Euro 2016

UEFA is threatening to bring in emergency beard regulations after a reckless and dangerous outbreak of facial hair growth at Euro 2016.

Offenders include Northern Ireland’s Stuart Dallas and Joe Ledley of Wales, accused of entangling England midfielder Eric Dier in his beard several times in yesterday’s game.

Football commentator Tom Booker said: “These beards are a throwback to the dark days of the 1970s, when footballers were bearded, fans fought pitched battles on the terraces and sharpened Wagon Wheels were thrown at the referee.

“Where does it stop? Portugal’s Raul Meireles could ride onto the pitch on a penny farthing tomorrow, wearing a top hat and accompanied by a white-gloved manservant, and we couldn’t deny we’d been warned.

“UEFA needs to look at bringing in new technology, like the Braun Series 9 electric shaver with SyncroSonic action, to clean up the beautiful game.”

Portugese star Cristiano Ronaldo said: “I back this move fully, and it is not because I am unable to grow a beard because I could if I wanted.

“I could if I wanted.”