Cricket reclassified as ‘cheaty sport’

CRICKET has been officially reclassified as one of the world’s ‘cheaty’ sports, along with cycling and sprinting.

Following the confession of ball-tampering by Australia captain Steve Smith, the sport is now registered as one where results are likely to be dishonest but which you can still enjoy if you like. 

A spokesman for the International Cricket Council said: “It’s fine, it’s still the same old cricket. It’s just a bit cheaty.

“There are some sports that are basically honest, like football and tennis, some that you have to keep an eye on, like Formula One and rugby, and some that are simply dishonest by nature like cycling, athletics and now cricket. 

“It’s liberating, in a way. Now we don’t have to pretend to be an actual sport with regulations we can make it much more exciting, with unlikely twists and turns like England winning a Test. 

“Australia can take a belt sander to the ball in the next match if they like. The crowd are all pissed anyway.”