England Primitive, Say Potato Gangsters
ENGLAND’S 2018 World Cup bid is ‘primitive’ according to the land of potato gangsters where nothing works.
Yuri is Russia's highest paid dancing newsreader
Russian officials said England’s bid would not generate billions of dollars for two or three oligarchs who would then have their mansions painted orange while they and their illegal friends shoot snow leopards in the face from the back of their Rolls Royce-Hummers.
Viacheslav Koloskov made the comments on Russia’s most popular news show The All Star Putin Truth Hour with Yuri the Happy Dancing Bear.
He told Yuri: “In England journalists like you can investigate how the country is run without being bundled into the back of a bullet proof Mercedes and gunned down behind a disused soap factory.
“They are like savages, dancing round a fire and waving their spears in the air.”
He added: “Their streets are full of drunks who can’t hold their home-made vodka and who the police do not have the courage to shoot and then claim they were probably Chechnyan terrorists.
“If only England possessed the intelligence and progressive vision to get everything completely and utterly wrong for 70 years before replacing it with gangsters and poison.”
An FA source said: “Far from being primitive I think you will find the England bid involves some extremely sophisticated buildings that are guaranteed to run 10 or even 12 times over their original budget.
“And I would be amazed if the entire project involves accidentally poisoning more than half a dozen people.”
Meanwhile FIFA said it was still investigating claims that one of the bidders had tried to bribe committee members but could not determine whether it was the country where people are idiotically decent, or the country where everyone is bribed to do everything all the time.
