Football fans face terrifying hours without football

WORRIED fans have been reassured that pre-season fixtures are already under way, saving them from interacting with any other aspect of society.

As Portugal lifted the Euro 2016 trophy, panic was already setting in for football lovers who began desperately searching for something to fill their time.

Wayne Hayes said: “It’s a whole day until the Champions League qualifiers. I’m counting down the hours until Lincoln Red Imps v Celtic.

He added: “There’s just not enough football played, that’s the problem. When will they come up with pre pre-season to fill this gap?”

Non football fans have been left baffled by Hayes’ sudden keenness to discuss other aspects of life.

Clare Bradford said: “I could see Wayne reading a newspaper with a baffled expression, making a vain attempt to get into art, literature, politics or current affairs.

“It was clear he was out of his depth so he settled for screwing up pieces of paper and kicking them at a bin.”

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