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GERRARD HAILS PROGRESS AS HOUSE BURNS TO GROUND |
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28-01-10 |
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STEVEN Gerrard feels his living situation is heading in the right direction after his house finally stopped burning to the ground.
 Splendid
Gerrard said: "I think I've definitely turned a corner in having my house on fire and we can move forward from here.
"If you look at the amount flames reducing everything I own to charcoal now and compare it to this time last week, you can see the improvement.
"On top of that, it's been three months since the kitchen last sunk into a pothole and a good couple of years since the basement was haunted by the vengeful spirit of a murdered gypsy so these are all positive signs."
Gerrard was speaking after Liverpool's 0-0 draw with Wolves, which he described as 'the same thing as beating Barcelona 8-0 at the Nou Camp, if you look at this chart the gaffer drew up to explain this kind of thing. There's also a picture of a picture of a talking rocket on it for some reason."
He feels Liverpool can still achieve Benitez's promise of a top four spot by May but admitted he was not entirely sure which 'top four' the manager was referring to at the time.
Gerrard said: "If he means the Ukranian folk album chart then yes, we must be in with a decent shout.
"But if he means the Premiership then possibly not. Have you seen Chelsea recently? Every time the ball flies off the foot of one of their players it ends up really quite near to another one of their players.
"The gaffer says they're all witches and the ball is their cat."
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