Golfers trash talk pathetic

RYDER Cup golfers have been told to stop doing trash talk because it is pathetic.

Lee Westwood is going to eat your family, apparently

Europe’s Ian Poulter threatened to ‘kill’ the US while America’s Brandt Snedeker said he wanted to ‘beat the Europeans brains in’ before everyone reminded them that they play the safest and most middle class sport in the world.

Experts have now urged both teams to calm down, stressing that they make Tory MPs look edgy.

Julian Cook, professor of sports-based insults at Roehampton University, said the golfers should avoid the embarrassing allusions to violence and instead focus on each other’s weaknesses.

He added: “What about, ‘hey, American golfer, your trousers make you look like a child molester.

“Or ‘hey, American golfer, if you win you’ll probably thank Jesus, you creepy fucking weirdo’.

“Or ‘hey, American golfer, you probably make Tiger Woods sit at the back of the bus, you racist shit.

“Or ‘hey, Tiger Woods, when are you going to tell your kids how many whores you’ve fucked?’

“That sort of thing.”