Old Firm Link To Spoiled Ballots

MORE than 99% of the spoiled ballots in the Holyrood election came from areas with the highest concentration of Rangers and Celtic supporters, according to new research.

In Stirling, which has pointless football teams with no obvious sectarian alignment, 633 votes were discounted.

The fact that both 'fuck' and 'Pope' are spelled correctly points to a high achiever, say experts

But the figure rose to more than 75,000 in Glasgow Shettleston and Glasgow Govan, both areas with endemic Old Firm support.

Dr Wayne Hayes, of Glasgow Clyde University, said: "Because there were two ballot papers, Old Firm fans naturally assumed that one was Catholic and the other was Protestant and expressed themselves accordingly.

"This highlights a need for the removal of the franchise from Old Firm supporters.

"Election workers have better things to do than decipher the irrelevant, halfwit doodlings of Ranger and Celtic fans."

David Murray, chairman of Rangers, dismissed the report, adding: "The main thing is, they can remember their pin numbers."