Sport Headlines

Middling Premier League teams to form breakaway Mediocrity League

THE so-called ‘Little seven; teams of the English Premier League have held secret meetings to discuss forming their own Mediocrity League.

Man with £1 Leicester City bet reckons he’s clever

A STUPID man reckons he is some kind of god based on a frivolous bet.

Mark Lawrenson starts saying ‘Waazzzuuppp’

BBC football pundit Mark Lawrenson has discovered the world of late 20th Century catchphrases.

Wearers of replica football shirts magically acquire strengths of team

WEARING a replica football shirt magically gives you the strengths and weaknesses of the team in question, scientists have discovered.

Tennis pay should reflect society, says Djokovic

NOVAK Djokovic has declared that the gender pay gap that exists in the workplace should also apply to tennis.

England Euro16 kit launch includes photo of team crying

THE England shirt for Euro 2016 has been unveiled with a photo-shoot of the players crying.

Futsal player talking about it as if it’s normal

A MAN has been casually mentioning his futsal league to confused colleagues.

Nobody sure who invited West Brom to Superleague talks

EUROPEAN football’s superpowers were surprised to find West Brom at their secret 'super league' meeting.