Sport Headlines

Hamilton Lost Because He Was Black, Claim Geneticists

LEADING geneticists last night claimed that Lewis Hamilton failed to secure glory in Brazil because he does not possess the key Formula One World Champion gene.

Springbok Plot To Steal Wilkinson's Feet

POLICE have thwarted an attempt by the South African rugby association to steal Johnny Wilkinson's feet before Saturday's world cup final.

Footballers Spent Nurse Cash On Emergency Supercars

PREMIERSHIP footballers who pledged to donate a day's wages to a nurses' campaign have instead spent the money on some more cars, it has emerged.

Alonso May Be Forced To Earn £20 Million Somewhere Else

MCLAREN racing driver Fernando Alonso was last night coming to terms with the harsh reality that he may be forced to earn £20 million a year somewhere else.

Mourinho Quits After Sushi Offer

FORMER Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho has quit the club after his Russian employers offered to discuss his contract over sushi.

Darling To Guarantee All Bets On The 3.50 At Lingfield

CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling has agreed to cover all bets at this afternoon's EBF Maiden Stakes and is tipping the Irish two year-old, General Ting.

Cage Fighting Probably Gay, Say Doctors

NO holds barred cage fighting can lead to long term gayness and an obsession with thighs, the British Medical Association claimed last night.

Beckham Unable To Pronounce 'Scientology'

IN his first major setback since arriving in Los Angeles, David Beckham has revealed he is unable to pronounce the word 'Scientology'.