QPR stockpiling gits

NEIL Warnock is building a fortress of arseholes in West London, it emerged last night.

Git hoarder

After the signing of Joey Barton, football’s favourite anagram is now uderstood to be chasing Craig Bellamy and has even considered coaxing Gary Neville out of retirement to assemble the most irritating football lineup since Adidas released their range of hessian shorts.

Warnock said: “When I look at Joey I see myself as a young man, raising the very real prospect of there being another manager just like me on Match of the Day in 30 years’ time.

“I can tell that you’re not trying to imagine what that would be like because you’re not weeping.”

Barton is due to be drafted in to fulfil a new UEFA rule that every team has at least one git to ensure the future of arseholes in the game from gobby ex-plasterers in the semi-professional leagues all the way up to bellend-studded sides like Real Madrid.

But Hammersmith council is concerned about the possibility of such a large tosspile in a built-up area.

Councillor Roy Hobbs said: “Even without Barton coming here we’ve noticed that people living immediately opposite the ground are acting the cockhead and starting petty disputes with their neighbours for no good reason.

“There’s a huge McDonalds in the town centre and the last thing we want is a Barton leak which causes the public to start kicking the bejesus out of dozens of people like some drunken, GBH chorus line.”