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WOODS CADDIE DENIES CLUBS SMELLED OF SKANK |
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14-12-09 |
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TIGER Woods' caddie has dismissed claims the golfer hid evidence of his numerous affairs inside his golf bag.
 Keeps the rain off one's mashie niblick
Williams said most modern golfers use protective covers for their clubs made of silk and lace and with the name 'Dusty' emblazoned across the gusset in tiny, fake diamonds.
He added: "I stand next to him for six hours a day and not once have I detected so much as a whiff of lapdancer.
"If all those women are telling the truth, his glove would have smelled like he'd been eating scampi flavoured NikNaks for a week."
Williams also rejected claims by the Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia that he had been seen positioning drunken strippers in the trees behind the 15th green at the 2006 US Masters.
Club secretary, Skippy Wilkerson, said: "We don't get too many negroes here so we just assumed they were his backing singers."
Meanwhile one US tabloid claims to have acquired a taped conversation between Woods and his caddie in a Los Angeles motel room, where he is heard telling the golfer: "Adjust your stance, allow for a slight borrow to the left and then have freaky sex with her until 5am."
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