War

Lego preparing for all-out war with Playmobil

LEGO characters are arming themselves in preparation for wiping all Playmobil figures from the face of the earth.

Sensible man reads Trump news then googles 'build a nuclear shelter'

A PERFECTLY rational man is planning to build a nuclear fallout shelter after reading about Donald Trump’s presidential nomination.

Cameron and Farage in ‘war of the ponces’

DAVID Cameron and Nigel Farage have gone into battle over who is the biggest ponce.

Badgers get testicle-biting training from honey badger

BADGERS faced with further culls have received combat training from a grizzled honey badger.

Hooray for war

CHEERING crowds packed the streets of Britain yesterday as the nation finally got the war it has wanted for so very long.

Theresa May will scroll through the pictures on your phone

HOME Secretary Theresa May will press ahead with plans to look at everyone's  photos.

Leader of UK ‘must be prepared to kill everyone’

ANY future prime minister must be willing to guarantee the total destruction of the UK in a nuclear war.

Rejecting unsolicited compliments is how the Nazis started, warns Mail

REFUSING to accept unwanted compliments about your appearance is exactly how Hitler got started, the Daily Mail has warned.