THE Queen has destroyed Britain’s newest aircraft carrier after hitting it with a bottle of whisky.
OVER 5,000 people have been killed in a field in a faithful re-enactment of the Battle of Bannockburn.
THE government is planing to invade the tiny nation of Andorra to rebuild national pride.
THE UK’s intelligence agency is using Twitter to ask if anyone has any terrorist stuff going on this weekend.
AMERICA is wondering if it should invade Iraq to prevent the country from descending into a bloody civil war.
THE fact that most young people would struggle to cope in World War Two may not be a problem, it has emerged.
THE army has developed new weapons exploiting the food intolerances of enemy soldiers.
THE coming world war which will devastate 90 per cent of the planet can't settle on where to begin.