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TOP TEN THIS MONTH

• AMERICA BUYS ALL THAT CHANGE BULLSHIT
• VENTURE CAPITALISTS INVEST IN SOMALI PIRATES
• RYANAIR TO OFFER £8 TRANSATLANTIC SHITFEST
• SOMEBODY SELLS A HOUSE
• ALCOHOL TO BE RESTRICTED TO NICE PEOPLE WITH DEGREES
• BROWN TO GAMBLE ON YOU BEING RETARDED
• BNP NOT JUST POLICEMEN, REVEALS SECRET LIST
• NOTHING TO FEAR FROM GERMAN ECONOMIC COLLAPSE, SAY EXPERTS
• FUCK THIS, SAYS ATTENBOROUGH
• THE PURGE BEGINS

TOP FIVE EVER

• PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO F*CKING PARK ON BRINK OF EXTINCTION
• FRENCH TRADER WAS FORCED TO WORK 30 HOURS A WEEK
• 'LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS F*CKING RAT' SAY ZOOLOGISTS
• BRA RESEARCH MUST GO ON, VOWS SCIENTIST
• SCOTLAND DIES LAUGHING

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