Celebrity

KEVIN Spacey has warned Britain that if he is not given major movie or theatre roles within the next six months he will turn up in pantomime.

JOEY Barton is in trouble again for calling broadcaster Jeremy Vine a ‘big bike nonce’. But surely he deserves praise for highlighting threats we were completely unaware of? Like these.

PRINCE Harry should not take it personally that the King is unable to see him today. His cram-packed itinerary means he does not have a second to spare.

CHARLIE Dimmock has said she has no regrets about an affair in 2001. Fair enough, but was her tabloid-boosted sex appeal at the time actually a bit weird? Here are some more questionable fantasy shags.

‘WELSH songbird’ Charlotte Church has announced she is no longer a millionaire. Clearly growing up was a poor career choice that should have been avoided, as she and these other celebs discovered.

A BARMAN at a London club has just found out the five pissed women he watched howl their way through a song was in fact a momentous 90s reunion.

THE children of two of The Beatles have released a terrible, insipid single together. Which other nepo-babies are busily ruining their parents’ good names?