Society

'You’re shop-soiled goods by age 30': Your own mum or an online incel? Guess the quote

WERE these offensive nuggets of misogyny offered to you by an internet stranger who despises the idea of female empowerment, or your sweet old mum? Take the quiz.

Driver generously allows humble pedestrians to cross road with regal hand gesture

A BENEVOLENT motorist has permitted a group of pedestrians to cross the road with a noble flourish of his wrist.

Middle-aged women delighted by ugly modern fashions

MIDDLE-AGED women seeing 20-something girls dressed in cargo pants, faux fur gilets and bandanas have confirmed that they are delighted by how ugly modern fashions are.  

Man confident if he apologises enough he'll stop being white

A WHITE man is so committed to saying sorry for all the crimes of his kind that he effectively is not a white man, he believes.

Swifties, and other fanbases that are certifiably f**king mental

DO you love Taylor Swift so much you send death threats to people who give her new album a vaguely unfavourable review? You are mad. Like these other obsessives.

Is it a coincidence that everyone suddenly finds the 'love of their life' when they’re 35, tired and desperate? 

PEOPLE suddenly finding the ‘love of their life’ when they are 35, exhausted and realise they cannot afford to buy a house may not just be a big coincidence, experts have confirmed.  

How to absolutely, comprehensively lose your shit if your child doesn't get their first-choice primary school

YOUR child has been condemned to educational subnormality and a career washing wheelie bins by being denied their first-choice primary. How should you freak out?

Five reasons your thirties are better than your twenties, if you're in denial

ATTEMPTING to convince yourself physical decline, burdensome responsibilities and heightened stress are a good thing? Here’s why you’re so glad to be in your thirties.