Society

LANCASHIRE is still attempting to convince people it has the same cultural clout as its geographical neighbour and bitter rival, it has emerged.

SCOTS holding grudges are rushing to make hate crime complaints under new laws. Who are you reporting to the authorities?

BADGERS remain utterly incapable of crossing roads while avoiding oncoming traffic, anyone who drove through a rural area over the weekend has confirmed.

ATHEISTS who reject religious doctrine have admitted nothing in their precious science can provide an explanation for the existence of the Easter Bunny.

THE King’s call for kindness is a pretext for asking everyone to lend him ten pounds, it has emerged.

A NEW survey shows Generation Z in the US and Europe are significantly less happy than older generations. How can we cheer them up?

AN upwardly-mobile man’s parents just love providing a contrast between his humble origins and what he has achieved in life.

MALCONTENTS often say they want their country back, but the question is: which one? There are plenty of Britains to choose from, if you don’t get bogged down in inconvenient reality.

A NOW quite worried Britain has requested everyone stop pissing about and explain what actually has happened to the Princess of Wales.