Society

All woman's anecdotes about how attractive she is

EVERY single one of a 28-year-old woman’s anecdotes centre on ardent men, jealous women or the sadness of only being appreciated for her stunning looks.

London's new woke-as-f**k train lines

Avocados, takeaway lattes and other things young people must buy to save the economy

BRITAIN is in a recession, so it’s up to young people who frittered their money like idiots a couple of years ago to kickstart the economy by purchasing these vital items.

Britain enters recession it's been in for ages

BRITAIN has officially entered the recession that it has been in for at least two f**king years, figures have shown.

Valentine's Day makes fatal error of going right up against much better Pancake Day

DEVOURING circles of delicious fried batter will win over romantic declarations of love every time, it has been confirmed.

How to help in a life-threatening situation by filming it on your phone

FIRST aiders and have-a-go heroes often save lives in dangerous situations. But who is filming it for Twitter and TikTok? Here’s how to play an equally vital role with your smartphone.

18-month-old living in Orwellian surveillance state

AN infant has expressed her resentment toward the nightmarish surveillance society she is forced to live in.

Temporary traffic lights opportunity for mindfulness, claim men in hi-viz

HIGHWAYS workers have urged the public to embrace the opportunity for relaxation and centering oneself afforded by their temporary lights.

Man watching The Traitors in underpants 'more than ready to go to war'

A MAN who spent last night watching The Traitors and drinking lager in his underpants is ready for war with Russia ‘tomorrow’, he has claimed.

We ask you: can the UK possibly survive a huge drop in working Royals?

THE King is undergoing surgery, the Princess of Wales is in hospital and the number of working Royals is approaching crisis point. Can we make it through?