Society

AMERICAN candy shops are turning your kids into junkies hooked on SWEETS and VAPES, as the Daily Mail would put it. Here’s what to do if this foreign menace appears on your high street. 

A MOTHER is outraged that her son – her own flesh and blood – did nothing to inform her about the 2016 death of David Bowie despite his being fully aware.

ANY bar, pub, coffee shop, sandwich shop or ordinary shop within 200 metres of a station is far more horrible than its distant counterparts.

FOUR months of teenage growth and Christmas overindulgence have turned a child into a weird, fast-growing freak, his mother has reported.

THE public has demanded a knighthood for Toby Jones, hero of ITV’s Mr Bates vs The Post Office, rather than the real Mr Bates the show was based on.

SIR Keir Starmer is responsible for pretty much every single crime that has ever happened. Here right-winger Roy Hobbs explains why.

THE Post Office has asked you to forget about how it destroyed hundreds of people's lives and focus on a fun new set of Spice Girls stamps instead.

WHAT trends can we expect in the new year, especially if you’re a gammon? Here Roy Hobbs takes a peek into the future and does not like what he sees. 

AS rain falls and you’re reminded of the only other Bible story you know, you reflect on what a logistical nightmare Noah’s Ark would be. These animals would have ruined it.

A DOG has politely asked to be given the receipt for an underwhelming gift.