BORIS Johnson's hulk metaphor has been welcomed by Brexit supporters who are not stupid and knew exactly what they were voting for.
DAVID Cameron’s memoir has left the nation reeling with the revelation that Boris Johnson and Michael Gove are a pair of twats.
FINALLY wrangled yourself some time alone? Follow our handy guide to wasting it and then feeling like right f*cking idiot afterwards.
A MAN has grown a twirly handlebar moustache to rule himself out of the gene pool.
FORMER prime minister David Cameron sleeps in a crypt which contains no reflective surfaces or timepieces.
A WOMAN with no understanding of mental disorders has taken to describing anyone different to her as being ‘on the spectrum’.
THE Carry On series of films has been exposed as sexist, homophobic, racially insensitive and frankly outdated in every way.
THE Operation Yellowhammer no-deal contingency plan will affect Britons differently according to their referendum vote. Here’s how.
COULROPHOBIA, or the fear of clowns, has been reclassified from an anxiety disorder to a perfectly reasonable response to modern life.
DO you need to write a scathing online opinion piece about popular TV shows in a desperate bid for clicks? Here are five easy targets.
NORTHERNERS are now allowing their tea to brew for almost five minutes longer than their southern counterparts, it has emerged.
A WOMAN who regularly stalks her exes on Facebook has insisted she is 'just keeping in touch'.
FIREMAN Sam has been fired for not being inclusive, and being Welsh besides. And he’s far from the only problematic children’s character:
HAIRY all over? Here’s how to groom it and maximise your sinister allure to men and women alike.
NOBODY in a large office can summon the will to open and read an email titled ‘Christmas Do 2019!!’, they have confirmed.
A WOMAN has once again reminded her boyfriend to take some photos of all the fun they are having so they do not forget it.
A WOMAN queuing to see the Downton Abbey film has realised that she cannot remember a single thing about any of the characters.
A WOMAN has confirmed a friend running late really was only the 10 minutes away that she claimed.
THE Queen has been heard to murmur ‘You lied to me, you f**king fat f**k’ while watching news of the Scottish court decision on television.
ONCE men courted ladies with flowers, but today’s lovelorn troubadour sends a quick snap of his penis instead. But when is the perfect time?