GOT a friend in tears because they’ve just been given the boot by their partner? Make it even worse with these probing and insensitive questions.
AUTUMN, the season of mists and limited edition coffees is here, but which matches your twat level at this time of year?
Rebekah Vardy to reveal the agony Coleen Rooney put her through and how she may never recover, on ice
FAMOUSLY private person Rebekah Vardy is to haltingly reveal the terrible pain Colleen Rooney caused her and the scars she bears, in a spangly leotard, on ice.
MOTHERS of daughters have admitted that, despite years of pretending otherwise, having girls is miles better than having boys.
SOMETIMES it can be hard to tell if you have a deep ideological belief in personal freedom or just like going out getting pissed.
A LARGE, omnivorous family living in a five-bedroom house with four acres of grounds would like to lecture you on protecting the environment.
A PLUMBER believes Donald Trump got away with paying no tax because he ran his multi-million property empire on a cash-in-hand basis.
A MIDDLE-AGED man who decided to treat himself to a listen to his favourite 90s album has discovered it is unlistenable, whiny shit.
FRESHERS trapped in university accomodation wish they had accepted their initial A-level grades so they could be back home doing resits.
DO you want to lose your child’s respect for you as a parent without tricking, forcing or bribing them? Try these foolproof techniques.
FOOTBALLERS enjoy a balloonful. Youths at lockdown raves go mad for it. But what is ‘hippy crack’ and could it become the drug à la mode for relaxed kitchen suppers? Lord Denys Finch Hatton investigates.
SPENDING an afternoon queuing in an airport car park to be tested for Covid-19 is the best day out of 2020, families have agreed.
IT'S important nowadays to be able to communicate effectively with modern digital technology. Unless you're a dad. Here are some classic dad text replies:
THIS year has been shit enough without attempting to sort out all the huge, festering problems in your life. So treat keep sweeping all of these things under the carpet until 2020 is over.
JUST because the world is in the grip of an accelerating pandemic doesn’t mean you can't have friends over to snort a little sherbert. Just follow these rules:
With casual sex off the table, how can you be sure you’re allowed to jump someone’s bones? Find out with this quiz by health secretary Matt Hancock.
A WOMAN on a health kick has supplemented her juice diet by blending an entire Brie, along with two packets of Wotsits and some ham.
WITH the Crown Estate due to receive a bailout after a slump in revenue, the Queen has been spotted spending her first welfare cheque on cheap fags and booze.
A COUPLE who regularly have loud, angry arguments and scream 'I hate you' believe it is a sign of a healthy relationship.
A DOG has been left humiliated after his owner forced him to wear a novelty jumper on a walk around the park.