A MOTHER has gone fully apesh*t crazy about a missing school jumper on a parents’ WhatsApp group, members have confirmed.
ARE you hoping a friend or colleague fancies you? Is the evidence flimsy, but open to interpretation? Talk yourself into it.
A UNIVERSITY’S campus is to be entirely converted into student living accommodation, it has announced.
SPLASHING water everywhere while driving along waterlogged roads is the key to peak happiness in adulthood, a survey has found.
EVER wondered why Nigel Farage feels the need to keep inflicting his Brexit party nonsense on everyone? Here are some possible explanations.
THE Brexit party has agreed only to stand in seats where their candidacy will not affect the result in any way.
DUNGAREES have never been good and they never, ever will be, it has been confirmed.
A MAN has just remembered that living in Britain between the beginning of November and the end of February is a total f**king nightmare.
A CAT with five different beds has chosen to occupy a laptop computer.
A LARGE pot of 'delicious' home-made soup knows at least 50 per cent of it is getting chucked.
DO you want to hijack an act of remembrance for your own purposes, or just be a general idiot about poppies? Here’s how.
PRODUCING carbon emissions that impact the environment is an unfortunate side effect of simply being alive, it has emerged.
A TRAIN station piano has apologised for all of the performances made by attention-seeking twats.
A 31-year-old man has politely asked that you please respect his crazy, utterly idiotic opinions.
THE parents of a 36-year-old software engineer have once again purposefully resisted understanding what he does as a job.
ALL couples must be made up of one person who springs out of bed at dawn and one that only properly wakes up at midnight, a survey has found.
A MAN reported his neighbours to the police after it emerged they were having much better sex than he has ever had.
A WOMAN has booked a train seat reservation online, safe in the knowledge that it is probably meaningless.
MARRIED couples have agreed that mid-sex is the best time to make a little list of everything that needs doing around the house.
THE best way to be a really good friend to someone is to say ‘mmm-hmm’ frequently, sincerely and meaningfully while they are talking.