Animals Headlines

Middle-aged hamster buys expensive new wheel

A MIDDLE-aged hamster has bought a top of the range wheel loaded with optional extras.

All cats are Thatcherites, confirm experts

EVERY cat is a right-wing Conservative, scientists have discovered.

May to send Article 50 letter strapped to a bulldog in a Spitfire

THERESA May will trigger Article 50 by strapping a letter to a no-nonsense bulldog that will fly to Brussels in a Spitfire.

Rescue cat couldn't give a toss about human's 'forever home' bullshit

A RESCUE cat has confirmed it is not interested in your sentimental bullshit about having a 'loving home' and just wants food.

We do not like trampolining, say hedgehogs

HEDGEHOGS have confirmed they do not like trampolining and children should not make them do it.

Dogs 'surprisingly self-obsessed'

DOGS have pathetically self-indulgent emotions just like humans, it has emerged.

Dog enters negotiations to give stick back 


A DOG has confirmed he is ready to begin negotiations for letting go of a stick.

Livingstone has pet newt called ‘Adolf’

KEN Livingstone named one of his pet newts ‘Adolf’, it has emerged.