A DOG is still clinging to the hope that one day he will be reunited with his missing testicles, 10 years after they disappeared.
DOGS are now acting as if fireworks are nothing to worry about.
A LABRADOR was shocked to discover he is expected to be a professional security guard as well as a lovable family pet.
A MAN whose friends claim he is paranoid about being stalked by a seagull is not remotely paranoid, the seagull has admitted.
LARRY the Cat is the only inhabitant of Downing Street to have done a good job this century, it has been confirmed.
A MIDDLE-aged hamster has bought a top of the range wheel loaded with optional extras.
EVERY cat is a right-wing Conservative, scientists have discovered.
THERESA May will trigger Article 50 by strapping a letter to a no-nonsense bulldog that will fly to Brussels in a Spitfire.
A RESCUE cat has confirmed it is not interested in your sentimental bullshit about having a 'loving home' and just wants food.
HEDGEHOGS have confirmed they do not like trampolining and children should not make them do it.
DOGS have pathetically self-indulgent emotions just like humans, it has emerged.
A DOG has confirmed he is ready to begin negotiations for letting go of a stick.