DOGS have pathetically self-indulgent emotions just like humans, it has emerged.
A DOG has confirmed he is ready to begin negotiations for letting go of a stick.
KEN Livingstone named one of his pet newts ‘Adolf’, it has emerged.
A WOODPECKER and a weasel have moved in together and are ‘excited about starting a family’.
A GROUP of neighbourhood dogs said last night’s two-hour barking session was one of the best this year.
RUFUS the hawk has entered the Wimbledon men's semi-finals despite never having played competitive tennis.
A HIKER has been killed by a mountain lion after his golden retriever chose to run away instead of defending him.
HELMUT, a severely depressed brown bear, has repeatedly failed to find other species at his zoo that would be capable of eating him.
THERE is no bee equivalent of a lazy, self-centered arsehole who offloads all their admin onto you, according to new research.
A CHIMPANZEE in a Swedish zoo has displayed the distinctly human characteristic of not enjoying being locked up against his will.
A MOUSE which survived a terrifying ordeal in a freezing river has thanked all the humans who stood on the bank taking pictures with their mobile phones.
MONKEYS controlled much of eastern Asia last night after launching a series of swift and ruthless coups d'Ã©tat.