Animals Headlines

'Springwatch' Badger Is Benefits Cheat

SPRINGWATCH badger Gary Degan is a dole cheat who is claiming thousands of pounds in benefits while appearing on the hit television show. 

Prince Philip Eats Two Cats And A Badger

PRINCE Philip has answered critics of his participation in a fox hunt by eating two cats and a badger.

She's No Virgin, Say Friends Of 'Miracle' Shark

MIRACLE shark Lorraine Chelsy is a 'skanky liar' who claimed she had a virgin birth to stop her mum going mad at her for getting pregnant, say her friends. 

BBC2 Launches New Series Of 'Date My Cat'

THE BBC has fired the first shot in the summer ratings war with a new series of the popular reality show Date My Cat.

Alex Salmond Killed Your Guinea Pig, Blair Tells Scots Children

IN his final salvo of the election campaign Tony Blair has accused SNP leader Alex Salmond of killing the guinea pigs of thousands of Scottish children.

Disabled Identity Thieves Get NHS Help Dogs

DISABLED identity thieves are to get assistance dogs on the NHS to help them lead more independent criminal lives, The Daily Mash can reveal. 

Cows Declare War On Sheep

RURAL Britain is bracing itself for bloodshed and mass destruction after the cows declared war on the sheep.