I'm supposed to be the biggest badass in One Direction.
Face the situation head on rather than spend the rest of the school year hiding in the PE cupboard at playtime.
Eventually the red mist will clear and you’ll be able to express your anger through the medium of Play-Doh.
Granny was hoping it would turn out like The Incredible Journey but it ended up being more like Deliverance.
Trying using nursery rhymes to make big decisions.
Boys are really good at some stuff that girls are rubbish at, like precision weeing.
Try to imagine Harry Styles being killed by firing squad.
How can I inspire millions of wet dreams when I can't comfortably sit down?
Having broken up with my wife, I'm surprised to find I don't want to listen to Coldplay.
My granny says that in the olden days people used to take photos of other people.
There is nothing more incriminating than a handwritten note.
I can't even get up from a chair without letting one rip.