My sister once had a French pen pal called Bruno Watine.
Liars will get mauled by a large predator, along with all their sheep.
The three wise men would probably have bought their gifts in Poundland too.
Vegans are not allowed Haribo Star Mix.
She's obviously really talented because she even got my daddy interested in cooking.
For a dramatic edge, our careers officer likes to set 'the reveal' to climactic pop music.
It's always a challenge to buy a dad-present which doesn't involve whisky, or Jeremy Clarkson.
If someone has done something naughty, I always recommend writing letters to both Santa and Jesus.
You should hide in the wardrobe and listen in.
You might find the entire class is suddenly aware of your dreadful bum problems.
Everyone at school is desperate for the teachers' strike to happen so that we get free holidays too.
You'll still have plenty of fun writing rude words on the kitchen cupboards with a Sharpie.