Agony Aunt

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

When I asked my sister why she was letting strangers look at her pants, she explained that she had become a radical feminist, like her idol Rihanna.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

My teenage big sister used to love playing dressing up and tea parties with me, but now she prefers to hang about park benches with big boys on bikes and tell my parents 'to go fuck themselves'.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My boss is starting to realise that I am lazy and shit at my job.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I was really disappointed to see that underneath her clothes she was wearing cheap underwear from Primark. Why is it women have no self-respect these days?"

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"There's not much else yet, but that's because we were busy for a few days writing death threats to Caroline Flack."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"How do I find out his yearly salary so I can decide if being crushed by a sweaty walrus is worth it?"

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I intend to break into his house, put on Alive and Kicking by Simple Minds at full volume, tie him to a chair with pretty tartan ribbon and then force feed him haggis until he bursts."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"First, and most important, you need at least one three-litre bottle of cheap cider."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"Will my statutory consumer rights be affected if I stab a checkout lady in the face?"

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I panicked and ended up telling her I wanted to blast my hot man juice all over her lovely long neck."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I was thinking perhaps my profile needs work and I possibly shouldn't mention my tiny gnarled penis and my love of garrotting."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
Now Christmas is over, my husband has lost his festive cheer and has gone back to his usual, miserable self...