Agony Aunt

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I am a working class NHS employee  whose dad was a miner and whose grandmother was once sent to prison for evading poll tax. As a single parent I like to take my son on countryside rallies to campaign against fox hunting and my favourite colour is red. Many of my friends are gay immigrants...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I've been seeing my boyfriend for a couple of months and things are starting to get heavy. We've done practically everything except full intercourse...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I met a woman called Barbara online in a Chris De Burgh fan forum last year, and for many months we have been emailing back and forth, getting to know one another and discussing our shared passion for Chris' phenomenal music...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My boss must be very clumsy because he's forever dropping items of stationery on the floor and requesting that I bend over to pick them up...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly
I am terribly lonely and can't seem to make any friends. Whenever I try to engage a colleague in one of my favourite topics such as  ornithology, or Heraldry, their eyes seem to glaze over and they make excuses to leave...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I've been big-boned all my life and no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot shift the pounds. I've started reading women's magazines in the hope that their pervasive and sinister message will somehow filter into my psyche and stop me from being so repulsive...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My friend has a new girlfriend called Svetlana from Latvia, whom he apparently met online on one of those mail-order bride websites; after only a few emails she arrived in the UK to live with him...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I am thinking of buying my girlfriend a sexy negligee to wear in bed. I have the suspicion that this might be more arousing to look at than her usual '2005 Race for Life' T-Shirt-and-Primark-sweatpants-combo...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My husband is a wonderful individual and we have enjoyed several relatively happy years together. The only problem is that he's a little conservative in his tastes and he would prefer to have sex in the missionary position with the curtains drawn than try out some of the things that I like doing...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
After my boyfriend and I have made love, all he does is grunt and go straight to sleep or slope off and play computer games until 3am. I, on the other hand, wish to punctuate our coitus by way of a lingering, romantic conversation...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My boyfriend and I have recently been talking about spicing things up in the bedroom and maybe acting out some of our secret fantasies for each other, which now turns out to have been an enormous error...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My girlfriend of several years keeps pestering me to make things official and marry her. Although I'm not wholly opposed to the idea, I am slightly worried that marriage could ruin our relationship completely. I've seen it happen too many times to other people: as soon as you put a ring on her finger it's like a man-trap snapping shut on your leg...