Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: What's everyone's problem?

APPRENTLY hardly anyone wants to listen to me on the radio, even though I work so hard discussing pointless drivel with myself for hours.

Ask Holly: It has been a mental few days but now I am back in my cage

MUMMU did some loud swearing about Sophie's mum and drank quite a lot of her own special Ribena.

Ask Holly: Seeing as Brexit is going so well, maybe I should try to start a war too?

BE CAREFUL picking fights with people in case they have a mentalist dad from Glasgow.

Ask Holly: My poor wife has been robbed and now I am truly narked

I AM going to find those French nincompoops and give them one of my shattering death stares.

Ask Holly: How should I document my illustrious career?

OUR school guidance counsellor, Angela, told Erica she should use art to express her feelings.

Ask Holly: I'm suffering with a terrible sense of deja vu

I HAVE a terrible sense of deja vu. Any idea why? Yours, Mary Berry

Ask Holly: I'm trying to squeeze out another boy wizard book so that I can buy Belgium

HE'LL stop bothering about all that magic nonsense and start a half-hearted interest in home brewing.

Ask Holly: Putin is actually pretty sound

EVERYONE told me he's a dick but he's actually pretty sound and we have loads in common.

Ask Holly: They won't be laughing when these tiny paws press the nuclear button

SOMETIMES small hands come in useful, for example when you are trying to pick the lock of the staffroom door.

Ask Holly: Since stepping down as UKIP leader I've been toying with pimping myself out

I LOVE reality TV, especially the gritty fly-on-the-wall documentary series about a young female pig called Peppa.

Should Fiona Bruce's eyebrows be on my list of what's wrong with Britain?

DEAR Holly, I'm just perfecting my leadership manifesto, where I am going to tackle the five ills of 21st Century Britain. Yours, Jeremy Corbyn