APPRENTLY hardly anyone wants to listen to me on the radio, even though I work so hard discussing pointless drivel with myself for hours.
MUMMU did some loud swearing about Sophie's mum and drank quite a lot of her own special Ribena.
BE CAREFUL picking fights with people in case they have a mentalist dad from Glasgow.
I AM going to find those French nincompoops and give them one of my shattering death stares.
Ask Holly: It's nearly October and I haven't seen any Christmas adverts, what the hell is wrong with people?
I DON'T need any toys, they are soooo 20th century.
OUR school guidance counsellor, Angela, told Erica she should use art to express her feelings.
I HAVE a terrible sense of deja vu. Any idea why? Yours, Mary Berry
HE'LL stop bothering about all that magic nonsense and start a half-hearted interest in home brewing.
EVERYONE told me he's a dick but he's actually pretty sound and we have loads in common.
SOMETIMES small hands come in useful, for example when you are trying to pick the lock of the staffroom door.
I LOVE reality TV, especially the gritty fly-on-the-wall documentary series about a young female pig called Peppa.
DEAR Holly, I'm just perfecting my leadership manifesto, where I am going to tackle the five ills of 21st Century Britain. Yours, Jeremy Corbyn