HE'S nothing but a pathetic beardy ball-bag.
YOU can tell a lot about a person by rifling through their belongings.
JOHN Major was a weak man bullied into having Brussels sprouts.
ASIDE from being a musical genius, Harry Styles can beat Garry Kasparov at chess.
MY daddy has loads of things called CDs, which, apparently is how people used to listen to music in the olden days.
THERE should be more children's programmes dealing with apocalyptic themes.
"That bastard David Cameron thinks it's so funny to laugh at the ambiguous pronunciation of my name."
US millennialists aren't into all that old fashioned ice-cream and jelly musical statues rubbish.
ASK for school to be abolished and for Elsa from Frozen to be your best friend.
DON'T worry, everyone's dad is rubbish and embarrassing sometimes.
YOU should follow my granny on Twitter, if you don't already.
ATHEISM isn't a wise choice if you are a schoolkid.