Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: I really hate that goody-two-shoes Jeremy Corbyn

HE'S nothing but a pathetic beardy ball-bag.

Ask Holly: Is Alistair Darling into techno?

YOU can tell a lot about a person by rifling through their belongings.

Ask Holly: I've found a new source of propaganda on the Dave channel

JOHN Major was a weak man bullied into having Brussels sprouts.

Ask Holly: Doing stunts and getting off with fit birds is all very well but I want a new challenge

ASIDE from being a musical genius, Harry Styles can beat Garry Kasparov at chess.

Ask Holly: How about Geriatric Karaoke?

MY daddy has loads of things called CDs, which, apparently is how people used to listen to music in the olden days.

Ask Holly: It's time to wreak vengeance and put an apocalypse into action

THERE should be more children's programmes dealing with apocalyptic themes.

Agony Aunt: Dear Holly, I'm being mocked by a pig-molester

"That bastard David Cameron thinks it's so funny to laugh at the ambiguous pronunciation of my name."

Ask Holly: After 90 years of the same, I just want everyone to shove off

US millennialists aren't into all that old fashioned ice-cream and jelly musical statues rubbish.

Ask Holly: Any ideas for EU reform?

ASK for school to be abolished and for Elsa from Frozen to be your best friend.

Ask Holly: My dad might be posthumously about to end my career as prime minister

DON'T worry, everyone's dad is rubbish and embarrassing sometimes.

Ask Holly: I'm running out of hateful things to say

YOU should follow my granny on Twitter, if you don't already.

Ask Holly: Where can I buy a bandeau mini-cassock?

ATHEISM isn't a wise choice if you are a schoolkid.