Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: Should I give mental Mumsnet ladies a taste of The Balls?

YOU should certainly never be a teacher with a name like that.

I'm tired of being made to look like a dick by everyone in NATO

How can I get my own back without causing a full-scale nuclear holocaust?

Ask Holly: Should I go to HR about horrible Ed Miliband?

Next time he starts mocking you just call him a dicksplat.

Do you think Richard Hammond is single?

I need a man who appreciates that with great beauty and power comes the risk of a fatal car crash.

I've been thinking I should adopt Kim Jong-un

I just worry he might be a bit grabby with the twins' Lego.

What do we need men for?

When dinosaurs were alive it was men who were in charge of everything.

How can I satisfy my desire for dirty techno whilst running the UK economy?

The people at work are just jealous they didn't get to go to a party.

When I am king, things are going to be a bit different around here

If celebrities want a real bush tucker trial they should come to my school at dinner time.

When I look in the mirror I see my brother Ed

You don't want a video of you snogging your own arm to go viral.

I just want to wear a leotard and a sparkly cape

Apparently the WWF is wildlife not wrestling.