Features

Passive-aggressive Mother’s Day gifts for terrible mothers

SOMETIMES a World’s Best Mum mug just won’t cut it - not because a mug is an inadequate gift, but because your mother is an inadequate parent.

An eight-point guide to being a dick on the internet

The first thing to remember is that everyone on the Internet is stupid. It is your job to tell them all how wrong they are about everything.

Which of this week's three historic Brexit votes are you?

THERE are three crucial Brexit votes this week: May’s deal, no-deal, and extending Article 50. But which one are you?

The life and times of a Brexiter who shouts at TV cameras outside Parliament

HELLO, I'm one of those men who shouts a lot outside of Parliament whenever I see someone being interviewed on camera. I mostly just shout 'Leave'  but sometimes I do other things. Here's how I spend my day...

Would a great big handful of magic mushrooms sort out your Monday blues?

MAGIC Mushrooms are a great way of sorting out any kind of blues, but would taking a massive handful of them right now sort everything out?

A crack user's guide to why Brexit is amazing

BREXIT will be so good. Soft and warm and fuzzy all over.

Why I am leaving the Empire, by Darth Vader

TODAY is my last day at the Empire.

How to save money by dumping your partner now then getting back together on February 15

IF YOU’RE in a relationship, you had probably resigned yourself to a financial outlay of between £5 and £48.99 on cards, gifts and a possible meal at Bella Pasta.

The Brexiter's guide to why recessions are brilliant

WITH the economy contracting partly due to Brexit, it is vital for Brexiters to pretend this is a good thing Here diehard Leaver Roy Hobbs explains the many upsides.

How to write an article about something stupid if you're an attention seeking arsehole

HI, I'm an attention seeking arsehole and I'm here to tell you how to write an article about something that you don't understand that will get you the attention that you so greedily desire.

4 classic kids' films that could offend idiots

ARE you an idiot looking for a fun family film to ruin by claiming it is prejudiced? Then here are a few classics: