Features

Nick Clegg's guide to always being the sidekick

HI, I'm Nick Clegg (former deputy prime minister?) and I'm here to tell you how you can be a great sidekick. It's not all just saying, 'great idea, boss' though, that is a fairly large part of it. Let's begin...

No-Deal Brexit recipes you can make without food

A post-Brexit lack of recognisable foodstuffs is a culinary challenge, but just follow our simple recipes for a creative approach to not starving.

The five habits of highly effective time-wasters

DICKING around does not just happen - you have to know your stuff. Here's a five point guide to wasting time like a champion.

The scientifically illiterate person's guide to flu

WITH the flu season upon us it’s important to be prepared with plenty of unscientific advice. Here’s the sort of rubbish your mum comes out with.

The hater's guide to London

DO you hate London for various bizarre reasons and say brilliant things like 'it's not even English'? Here’s what those la-di-da shitponces are really like.

Have you joined a UFO death cult or have you joined the Lib Dems? Take the test...

Who is your leader? A. An ancient, reincarnated demi-God who will lead us to Eternia where we will live in intergalactic glory forever.

Are you a weird Labour MP who’s obviously joined the wrong party?

ARE you an oddball Labour MP who would clearly be more at home in the Conservative Party or UKIP? Take our test...

Four new wellness trends that we've just pulled out of our arses

Do you think throwing your money at some ‘holistic regime’ will make you feel better about life? Then why not try one of these...

Esther McVey's guide to not having the faintest idea what you're talking about

HI, I'm Esther McVey, the former Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, and while you're getting your head round that, I'm going to give you a quick rundown on how to talk about things confidently despite not having the faintest idea what you're on about...

How to have the best of both worlds, by Boris Johnson

PEOPLE say ‘you can’t have it all’. But as a talentless failed foreign secretary openly living with his 30-year-old mistress and who remains favourite to be prime minister, I respectfully disagree.

Have you got enough crap on your hands to use a McDonalds touch screen?

Are you dying to order a burger but worried your hands are too clean? Take the test...

Having five children is fine for middle-class people like me, but not the poor

For me, having five children is an important personal choice, but for poor people it’s just incredibly irresponsible.