What will you be blaming Christmas for this year?

WHETHER you are skint, hungover or fat, blame it all on Jesus’s birthday.

How to react when a friend starts talking about Warhammer when there are women around

WARHAMMER: all men play it, but only the brave few will mention it in public.

How to make sure every single conversation ends up being about you

DO you hate listening to people tediously drone on about themselves when you’re clearly much more interesting? Here’s how to steer the conversation round.

The best winter coats to keep out the creeping dread of Christmas

As well as keeping you warm, a good winter coat can shield you from the endless bullshit of Christmas, especially if you keep the hood up. Here are five of the best.

Is splitting the bill evenly a good idea, or do you have no concept of money?

YOU’VE enjoyed a marvellous meal with friends and now the bill has arrived. Should you just divide the whole thing equally, or do you actually understand how money works?

Five great ways to obstruct people in public

DO you like pissing people off with your big rucksack or stupid little dog on a massive lead? Here’s how to take being a pain in the arse in public places to a new level.

Avocado or Kale? Take our test to find out why people think you're an arse

DO you live for Avocado or do you live for Kale? Take our quick test to find out why people generally think you're an arse who would go along with any fad they were told to.

Which of his iconic lines will De Niro be pissing all over in his new Warburtons advert?

ROBERT De Niro, who for many years was considered one of the greatest actors of all time now looks set to appear in a commercial for bread makers Warburtons.