Features

God help me, now I'm writing a nostalgic article about f**king video shops

WHETHER it's Woolworths, CDs or Neapolitan ice-cream, every journalist of a certain age is used to knocking out articles about how we’ll miss that thing that’s gone after nobody used it. 

Have you got hay fever or are you just a miserable bastard?

ARE you constantly complaining? Take our test to find out if you have hay fever or are just a miserable sod.

How are you pretending to be busy at work?

WHAT devious techniques are you using to look as if you’re working when you’re not? Read our guide - and maybe even learn some new ways to skive!

Can you tell which film your mum is trying to describe?

MUMS often recommend films but without being able to remember any key details. Can you decipher these mum film descriptions?

Are you shit enough to be in May's cabinet?

HAVE you got what it takes to keep fucking things up like a senior Tory minister? Take our test and find out!

Are you poor or do you just have kids?

STRUGGLING to make ends meet? You could be trapped by low wages, high rent and economic uncertainty, or you might just have kids.

I don't know how I did it either, by Gareth Southgate

TO BE honest, I'm just as confused as everyone else.

How are you ignoring heatwave advice you’ve been hearing for the last 20 years?

PLUCKY Britons are currently ignoring decades of advice about what to do in a heatwave. So what stupid things have you decided it’s OK to do?  

Are your friends with problems actually just idiots?

DO your friends with problems deserve your sympathy, or are they just idiots who won’t stop doing stupid things? Take our test and find out.

What does your ice lolly say about you?

YOUR choice of ice lolly reveals your personality on a deep and profound level.

I thought everyone had a cleaner

I SUPPORT social progress, justice and anti-authoritarianism. But I have'’t got time for squeezing Harpic down the loo, who has?

How to work in the heatwave

A GUIDE to surviving the heatwave whilst you are technically meant to be doing a job.