News Briefly

Temperature fluctuations suggest Earth undergoing menopause
Scientists advise everyone to be nice to planet, cut it some slack.

Private sector workers prepare for day of same old shit
Millions face another yet another eight unremarkable hours of utter tedium.

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Crosby, Stills, Nash and Dappy: mulletz N bumfluff

Concept art for kids' TV character Bod fetches record price
£74M early drawing shows jovial bubble-headed 80s cartoon character in a more angsty pose.

Stephen Hendry to become motorbike daredevil
Seven-time snooker world champion to make leaping over 20 exploding buses seem like the most boring thing that has ever happened.