Dubstep Old Hat As Fans Embrace Bumfunking

DUBSTEP pioneer Burial shocked the music world last night as he announced he was abandoning the genre that made his name for the rival style of Bumfunking.

Fudcore! Fudcore! Fudcore!

Burial revealed his conversion to the new dance movement – a mixture of Clit 'n' Bass with the darker elements of Bowelshift – after failing to win this year's Mercury Prize.

The south-London producer – real name Julian Cook – said he was joining forces with Dutch cock twiddler Jank 2526, whose neo-Fudcore anthem Dogbiscuit is already a Bumfunk standard.

Cook said: "Bumfunk combines the serenity, melancholy, and tragic intensity of a great lyric improvisation with a lot of screechy noises."

He added: "Put a fuckin' twonk on it."

Wayne Hayes, editor of Racket magazine, said: "Jank 2526 has consolidated the glacial techno beats of East German Pigbits with the drenched sub-bass of Peckham's Shithouse

"In doing so he’s crafted a sound that will long outlast the inane tunes with comedy baselines currently worshipped by devotees of Clownfoot and Daddylegs."

He added: "By embracing Flaps and two-step Snowshit, Jank has reinvigorated a genre that was being turned into a laughing stock by the likes of Stilkie, Arser and Quimland Express."

Dance fan Charlie Reeves said: "Jank is a genius, he has taken the thud, thud, thud of Dubstep and added at least two extra thuds. It's totally cronking."