Klan TV Launched As Racist Television War Hots Up

WITH one-in-three television programmes now classed as overtly racist, a new channel is being launched to cater for a growing market of bigoted lunatics.

KLAN TV's flagship programme will be White Power Treehouse, a reality show featuring young female celebrities locked in a treehouse with a constant supply of wine boxes, sharing their thoughts on race, culture and social cohesion.

White Power Treehouse

Big Brother's Jade Goody will present How to… Send Them Back, an interactive show devoted to viewers' light-hearted suggestions on how repatriate thousands of elderly British citizens to their Commonwealth countries of origin.

Meanwhile Simone Clarke, the BNP-supporting ballerina, will host Strictly Anglo-Saxon Dancing, where celebrities will perform routines not influenced by the frenzied sexual jiggling of the sub-Saharan cultures.

Another early highlight will be the poignant, fly-on-the wall documentary The Boy Who Didn't Like the Bangladeshi Family Next Door.

One KLAN TV executive said: "We expect a diverse audience. On the one hand we'll have lots of moronic white thugs leaping around their living rooms, grunting and throwing ready meals at their knocked-off plasma screens; and on the other we'll have lots of outraged white liberals, fizzing in front of their Bang and Olufsens, choking on their Cloudy Bay and feeling really good about themselves. We're going to make fucking millions."