New Radio Station Will Be Non-Stop Drivel Promises BBC

THE BBC is to launch a new 24-hour radio station given over entirely to phone-ins from punters, promising round the clock burbling inanities and factual inaccuracy.

While the Corporation has given over much of its airwaves to ill informed opinion from the general public in recent years this will be its first station entirely devoted to idiotic and unsubstantiated ramblings.

A spokesman conceded that stations such as Radio Five Live and Radio Scotland already featured huge amounts of tripe phoned in by people who knew very little about anything.

Reg from Essex: Send them home

But he said there was clearly still a huge reservoir of idiocy out there that the BBC was keen to tap into.

Reg from Essex, controller of the new station, said: “They come over here, taking our jobs, stealing our women, doing our plumbing and plastering our ceilings. I say we should send them all back where they came from.”

Esther from Broughty Ferry, head of programming, said: “I saw a robin in my garden today. In Spring! And some people still try and tell you that global warming has nothing to do with people driving Range Rovers? Shame on them. They should be hung. In public.”

Bill from Dundee, head of news, said: “I have it on good authority that Jack McConnell has siphoned off millions of pounds from the Scottish Executive budget and is going to retire in luxury to East Africa after he loses the election, with his lover Tom McCabe.

“A friend of mine, who has a friend who works in a travel agents told me he has already booked some flights for 4 May. And another mate has a mate who saw him in Jenner’s buying huge suitcases, perfect for smuggling money with. Come on, there’s no smoke without fire is there?”