Nun Lovers Devastated

THE hopes of nun fans across the world were shattered last night after the cancellation of the first ever nun beauty contest.

Nun my brains out

Father Antonio Rungi revealed he was calling off the contest after it became clear the nuns would simply be used to satisfy a series of depraved and incredibly hot sexual fantasies.

He said last night "I wanted to reflect the inner beauty of my holy sisters. But if you just want to look at nuns' tits then I suggest you try the Jesuits."

Wayne Hayes, a nun lover from Dorking, said: "What a shame. If there's one thing that gets me through the day it's the thought of a load of nuns in swimsuits, followed by evening gowns.

"I'm a big nun man. There are some weekends when it's just me, a bottle of Pinot Grigio, a big bag of Kettle Chips and my director's cut of The Sound of Music. And no clothes obviously."

But Father Rungi added: "Nuns are not objects for your rampant carnal lusts. They are the Brides of Christ and only he is allowed to slip his hand under their heavy garments or ask them to dress up as a cheeky milkmaid.

"Only he is allowed to turn the lights way down low and do that thing that makes her glad she's a nun.

"And even if he doesn't hang around for breakfast, she knows he'll call, because hey, he's Jesus."