Arts & Entertainment

New Star Wars features shaved Chewbacca

NEW Star Wars film The Last Jedi promises the first sight of Chewbacca shaven completely bare. 

37-year-old woman thinks DJs are cool

A WOMAN in her late thirties still believes DJs are cool, it has emerged.

Man who insists London is best city in world mainly just sits around in his pants eating toast

A PROUD London resident who passionately argues his home city is better than Paris or New York spends all weekend watching television and eating toast.

Who is Britain’s most tediously reactionary rock star?

From Jimmy Page supporting the Tories to Queen playing South Africa to Eric Clapton ranting about immigrants, rebellious rockers have always been rabid reactionaries. But who is the most wearily attention-seeking contrarian of today?

Ed Sheeran Grammy snub suggests world stepping back from brink of madness

THE decision not to give Ed Sheeran a music award could be the dawning of a new age of human sanity, scientists have confirmed.

Milton Keynes told to ditch European Capital of Culture bid but not because of Brexit

MILTON Keynes has been advised its European Capital of Culture bid would be unsuccessful even if Britain stayed in the EU and paid £350m a day.

Morrissey to donate all proceeds from new single to bastards

FORMER Smiths frontman Morrissey has released a charity single raising funds for utter bastards.

Dad sings entire November Rain solo while driving

A FATHER-OF-TWO has performed the entire solo from Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain while driving his children to school, they have confirmed.

Imodium unveils magical Christmas advert

THE makers of Imodium have released a heartwarming Christmas advert featuring a monster with chronic diarrhoea.

Magical, fun-packed Special Brew lorry coming to a town near you

A PROMOTIONAL festive lorry full of Special Brew and Brew-related gifts is touring the UK.

The real battle is fighting off all the ladies, says top Call of Duty player

AN OBSESSIVE Call of Duty player claims the real war is fending off the women who want to snatch him from his gaming chair.

Play ruined after cast repeatedly breaks into song for no reason

A PLAY has been ruined after the cast repeatedly broke into song, it has emerged.