Arts & Entertainment

Adele cancels shows because she's 'f**king sick of Adele songs'

ADELE has admitted cancelling shows because her songs do her head in.

Dinner party dominated by analysis of subtext in Paw Patrol

A DINNER party where the majority of guests are parents was dominated by an in-depth analysis of animated rescue dog show Paw Patrol.

Researchers discover only British actor who hasn't been in Doctor Who

RESEARCHERS have confirmed the discovery of the only British actor who has never been in Doctor Who.

Corbyn to perform Labour manifesto on 50-date stadium tour

JEREMY Corbyn is to play to packed stadiums across the world, reading out bits of economic policy from the Labour manifesto.

Ascot declares war on Glastonbury

ROYAL Ascot has decided to finally settle its long-running rivalry with Glastonbury by marching to war.

Glastonbury coverage welcomed by Britain's top letches

OLD men who dislike pop music but enjoy lusting after young women have welcomed blanket coverage of Glastonbury.

Dads warn against getting them any DVD with Ben Affleck in it

FATHERS have warned family members not to buy them any film that involves Ben Affleck.

Latitude festival to introduce coffee testing

BOUTIQUE festival Latitude will allow attendees to test their coffee for purity and bean quality, it has confirmed.

They Live reclassified as a documentary 

THE John Carpenter film They Live is a documentary, it has been confirmed.

Watch The Handmaid's Tale and get back to us, DUP tells May

THE DUP has advised the prime minister to watch The Handmaid’s Tale as it pretty much explains where they are coming from.

Reading and Leeds line-up identical to Dad’s Driving Playlist line-up

THE acts performing at this year’s Reading Festival are the same acts in the same order that appear on Dad’s Driving Playlist, he has confirmed.

People who pretended to like Twin Peaks first time around facing very difficult summer

THE return of Twin Peaks means a challenging summer for those who faked enjoying it first time around.