Arts & Entertainment
AS the new Strictly Come Dancing approaches, which subliminal messages will it contain to keep the population in a state of sheep-like docility? Here they are in full.
TICKETMASTER has closed its secondary resales websites and its main website, announcing that from now on the only way to get in is to queue at the door.
AS a huge fan of the Stath I’ve always wanted to see him punch a giant predatory vagina - oops I meant to say shark.
HI, I'm Mark Kermode and it's fine if you think I'm a twat.
IT’S that time of year when musos gather to prove who’s got the oddest and therefore best taste in music with the Mercury Music Prize. Here’s the shortlist.
A MAN who thinks people should read more is absolutely horrified with everyone's choice of reading.
DOCTOR Who is a totally unrealistic and quite annoying role model for children, parents have realised.
DEAR Boris, I too am a bulbous pink figure with a toothy grin who went from media darling to widely despised irritant.
AN ENGLAND fan has been jailed for writing a song called Ball of Victory.
THE 13-year-old who created ITV2’s Love Island has been grounded indefinitely by his parents.
A FILM studies graduate cannot believe cinemagoers simply enjoyed a film that was entertaining and fun without being an intellectual twat about it.
A WOMAN is disgusted her boyfriend would behave like the men on Love Island, which he would because he is a representative of his gender.
- Five books to pretend to read while thinking about how clever you look holding a book
- Beyonce and Jay-Z release album about when she left the bath running and it ruined the kitchen ceiling
- Man at front of gig screaming for song that band definitely going to play anyway
- Teenager trapped in dad band jam session